Self Doubt? Stop It!

No matter how long you have had your company or where you are in your career, CEO’s and company leaders can stay encouraged by learning how to respond more effectively to their

Will Smith

Don’t let the outside get in!

circumstances. The pressure of running a company or leading a large employee base can be daunting, I get that. With a some effort and gracious optimism, you can feel more empowered and energized in the face of obstacles.

What is gracious optimism? I like that notion. I was just speaking to mid-size business owner last week.  My many accounts the business was doing well and the the owner was successful in other respects, and a rock star in his industry. The interesting thing about this person is he held a deeply guarded belief that he wasn’t “anything special.” He questioned whether he was worthy of his current success not to speak of his future success. He told he was “just stupid luck ” I noticed that he placed stock on what what others thought of his contributions. and while have a close circle of confidants or advisers are a good idea for business leaders, for this person it paralyzed his decision making ability.

Over lunch, after listening to him vacillate between two opinions for this advisory group that were contradictory in their natures, I finally asked him what he thought.  He told this was not “his area of expertise,” and had no idea which direction to go.  I then asked what is the worse that could happen regardless of which direction he took.  Nothing he told seemed devastating, earth shattering, or a fatal business move.  Both decisions had risk and reward – they were merely two schools of thought on how to arrive at the same destination.

I then asked him to give himself some grace.  Often times, are close inner circle or trusted advisers, although they mean well, can be our biggest critics and detractors.  I asked him to further reflect on why these opinions mattered so much. He realized that in large part, it was tied to managers from his early career who devalued his abilities as nothing special, which forced him to prove that he was worthy of their attention. Holy Insights, Batman! This was huge.  And I think once he said it out loud he realized it was a big part of what might be holding him back.

In a vlog post on May 5th, Jeff Walker, Internet Marketing guru, talked about how to deal with haters and critics.  And noted that sometimes even our family can be critics and detractors in our lives.  Often it is someone who is not doing anything great in their life and they want to pull you down to make themselves feel better. Jeff Walker went on to say that how he deals with haters and critics is he doesn’t.  He doesn’t allow these folks to have “any power over how (he) feels.”  Jeff goes on to state that he knows he is making a huge impact and that is enough.

So back to my business owner, sitting with his new revelation, that despite his anxiousness and fear of making the “wrong” decision, he was a success and a blessing to many. Through grace and a little sprinkling of optimism he understood that the tapes he was playing in his head were really those of his family and mentors who may not have really supported his love of business in the first place.

Talk about things that make you go…Hmmm!

So what is YOUR self‐talk telling you? Do you know where did those thoughts come from? What is you gave yourself some GRACE? What if you looked at tings not has daunting but as exhilarating.

I once had someone tell me that our self doubts are “often the result of the outside getting in.” These voices can be those of your spouse, your parents, teachers, your boss, your children and authority figures who were once relied upon for safety and approval. In our Insights to Personal Effectiveness workshop we often tell participates that the key is awareness.  By developing a sense of awareness, leaders can learn to question some of those internalized voices.

So STOP! Don’t just listen to your doubting self‐talk and accept it as reality. Instead give yourself a break.  Challenge these beliefs, question them. Consider the impact you have on the world around you. Have some optimistic thoughts that allow you to celebrate to good and bad decisions because at lease you made the decision. At least you took a risk.  And don’t let other be the center of decisions.  You had the CONFIDENCE to start your business or climb the corporate ladder to your current position STOP self doubt and go and do something GREAT!!

If you are CEO and senior business leader looking for a way to move your business forward call a senior consultant with Ember Carriers at (513) 984-9333 for a no cost, no obligation strategy session to learn how you can take your company to a next level of success.

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2 Responses to “Self Doubt? Stop It!”

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